LAWNMOWER MAN

So last week I needed to get my lawn mowed for the first time this year. So off I went to Loew's to get everything I needed to tune up the lawn mower. Since I am now at home and watching the budget this was a job for me and I had no idea how to do it. So I found the same guy who sold me the mower a few years ago and asked him what I needed. I had my kids with me so I am trying to talk to this guy and keep the kids off the riding lawnmower and out of the displays. After they had run down the rows 3-4 times I ordered "STOP!!!" and told them to stand right here! So back to the old guy... He hand me all this stuff I need and his give me a stern lecture on being nice to my lawn mower since I have not tuned it up except (for the filter) for the last 2 years. He then gives me a long talking to about leaving old gas in the engine. I asked him what oil filter I needed and he informed me that my lawn mower does not have a oil filter. So after a half hour I had everything I needed and I was ready to tune up old Betsy! So we are in the back yard and I am trying and trying and trying to change the spark plug with no success. Maybe it was because I was using pliers... So I decided to call my father-in-law who is pretty smart with this stuff. The hard part was that they were travailing through New Mexico at the time and I had to relay all my questions through my Mother-in-law. I had to speak very load and slow but I got the inside information on tuning up a lawnmower and I learned that you need a special socket to get it out and then I remembered how to change the oil etc. Now I need to mow my side and front yard.....